A New Tracker!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

I love My Fitness Pal! I write everything down that I put in my mouth. I decided to make this today to have a visual cue...a motivator if you will!

Things Are Getting Better

So....

I spoke to the dietician at the beginning of this week. I have made up my mind. I will NEVER speak to her again. I think that being a "dietician" is a fake profession anyhow. I mean, does one have to get an MS in Nutritional science to tell the fat kid (who's been dieting since age 6) that one pound is equal to 3500 calories? I think not.

Also, she always talks to me with a mouthful and boasts about how she is an avid runner and marathoner. It's sort of like having Satan as your cheerleader. It doesn't really work.

As for my surgeon (since my last post) he did exactly what I paid him to do. But he also has statistics that he must uphold (and I'm a rebel - totally killing his numbers) and lives by a publish or perish mentality. He's a cutter and as a cutter he is the one that is paid to fix the car not teach me how to drive it.

No more talking to that part of the team unless it is a medical emergency. I have however been posting to Vertical Sleeve Talk which is more suited to me than Obesity Help. I was so happy to find it because last Tuesday I really was going to see if I had learned to fly, yet...off a cliff.

My numbers this week are as follow...

Weight: 202 (down from 241.8)
Boobs: 43 (which still haven't budged)
Waist: 36
Hips: 48

Me, at Christmastime, before surgery. The discomfort in myself here is so appearant: the double chin, the swollen eyes...

Me, two nights ago....8.5 weeks post op. My eyes are brighter, I appear clearly happier,  and my double chin is nearly gone!

Lowered Expectations

I went  to see the surgeon yesterday for my first post op visit.

I felt awful when I left his office. I feel pretty comfortable saying that he is a mother fucker. Yup. That's right a complete and total asshole! More succinctly, a dick.

I walked in, weighed in at 210 and felt ok about it. Not jumping for joy, but not like I wanted to take a bath with a toaster either.

I waited for him to join me once I was roomed. Ten minutes later he walked in and the first thing out of his mouth was, "So, I see you haven't been following my eating prescription."

Now, a day later, several excellent things come into my mind that I wish I had thought of yesterday, such as, "Don't be an ass!" or "Be nice or leave." or my personal favorite "Yeah, I haven't. Instead, I've been slamming Ho Ho's and Ding Dong's."

Needless to say, I felt defeated. These past five and a half weeks have been a struggle both physically and emotionally.

I rallied the troops. Amy said just keep going and "he's a dick!" My sister said, "Write a letter even if you don't send it." And my husband, God bless him, went to Costco with me to look for new protein shakes becasue the doctor said I need a higher protein intake. Gah!

Before the surgery, the surgeon said I could reach 110.Yesterday, when I told him he said that he denied it and snidely asked, "What's your goal." I answered 130.

To be honest, at 5 feet tall and 210 lbs now, I'd be happy at 170 for the rest of my life. And perhaps I shouldn't put too much stock into what the surgeon says. Do I have to see him again?

Sometimes, I visit Melting Mama. It's a blog about WLS. I like it. Here is what I read today and it helped me resolve my heart and soul. It gave me solidarity. Meltimg Mama - Lowered Expectations.

Never Be the Same - Little Majorette

This is my theme song right now. It also happens to be a rocking song to workout to. I love it.  I had this surgery so nothing would ever be the same!

I never want to be so pulled by a doughnut that I think of it all day long.
I never want to have the after effects - slitted eyes and swollen hands - from over eating Chinese food.
I never want to feel embarrassed because I can't fit in  a movie seat.
I never want to have to ask for an extender on an airplane.
I never want to feel out of control.
I never want to feel like that bullied little girl ever, ever again.

on to the postive...

I want things to be different.
I want a healthy relationship with food.
I want to wear pretty underwear and bras.
I want to feel uninhibited enough with my body to have a more adventurous sex life with my husband.
I want to feel on the outside like I feel on the inside.
I wan to be free.

The numbers.
My waist has shrunk 10 inches
My weight is 218 today.

And, lastly, if you like this song by Little Majorette, then please support them by buying their music and seeing their shows.

2 Weeks Post Op - A Carnival Ride

There are several things I've been experiencing that are less than pleasant with this post op liquid diet.

1. My breath smells and tastes worse than a week old dead guy.
2. People will not accept no for an answer so my only option has been to ignore my friends.
3. Your husband is not always supportive (donuts for breakfast this morning).
4. You will fantasize about your old eating habits.
5. You want to be much more active than your incisions will currently allow.
6. And, you will expect to lose 100 lbs. in two weeks.

Physically, I feel pretty good. I'm not as tired as I was but sleep very well. Even though I am not as tired my energy level is pretty low and I assume that is just becasue I have no calories on board. Also, I am freezing. It might be 70 outside sun shinning, but I am freezing cold. My feet are cold, my hands are cold and my nose is cold. Also, I am so sick of the thin liquids diet that I'd prefer just to not eat at all! What's the point? It's been a real carnival ride to say the least.

The numbers: I was 241.8 in the hospital after surgery and today I am 227.
That's 14.8 pounds down.

5 Days Post Op

Take 1...

Take 2...

Pre Op Measurements:

Bust: 49.5

Waist: 42

Hips: 54

Two Days Post Op

This one makes me giggle. Also, I look exactly like my brother. I really felt like doo doo... And the incisions...